This month has been of month of realization for me. Ive been so focused and so driven, I’ve actually surprised myself.
Ive always been a go getter and “if you want it, its up to you” sort of girl, but fear has held me back a lot.
I know im not the only one thats so scared to lose that sometimes I hold back on even trying. But not anymore.
Im taking the biggest leap of my life and im so emotionally drained from thinking about all of the possible outcomes. What if I fail? What if I end up broke? What if no one likes me? What if I miss what I used to do ?
What if, what if, what if. And im so tired of scaring myself out of even trying. What if its amazing !? What if I become so successful?! What if this is just the first step of so many more things I want to accomplish ?!
So, with the encouragement of Tyler (he’s a huge part of this decision), Ive decided to finally quit my job as a Color Artist at Sephora, and go full time for MY OWN DREAMS. My boutique Brendalin & Cora, My Youtube channel that has grown so much in the last year, My blog that has always been this little creative outlet for me, Freelancing which I LOVE to do (BOOK ME! haha).
I do so many things besides just work my job that im finally going to push myself to make all of them my jobs. One day dedicating to my blog and shooting, another day filming for my youtube, a make up client here and there, and growing my boutique into what I know it can be.
Im TERRIFIED. Actually, terrified is an understatement. Im so scared of what can go wrong. So scared that ill fail. Ive been “So scared” for so long, that im finally saying F*CK YOU to fear.
Tyler has been pushing me since last year to quit my job and go full time for what I want, and I always thought he was out of his mind. We were so fresh in our relationship. How could this guy just tell me to quit my job and that he’d handle everything ? He’s out of his mind. And Every month since that year, he’s continued to put it in my head that it was OKAY to let my guard down and let him help me. Finally, here I am a year later. Working my last two weeks of my full time gig, with so much anxiety still. But also with so much trust. I finally trust myself that ill make things happen. And finally allowing myself to trust Tyler 100%.
Im so excited for whats to come, but so incredibly nervous. One thing is for sure, I couldn’t have done ANY of this without all of the support. Whether you read my blog posts, Like/comment on my pictures on Instagram, ever purchased anything from B&C. watch my videos and subscribe to my channel, or I’ve ever done your hair or make up for a special event, THANK YOU. Its because of YOUR support that I have the courage to do what Im doing. Its because of YOU that Im able to make an income doing what i’m doing. You don’t know how big of a role you play in my life and what I do. I will forever be indebted to you. Lets see where the future takes us!!!!
Top & Denim : Zara
Jacket : Bebe (Old)
Shoes: Lolashoetique (Use Code “Ivana” For Discount!)
Sunnies: Quay Australia